I decided to try to have a baby on my own four years ago, when I was 37, and then, two years later, had my daughter in February 2018.
I have a two-year-old daughter who I conceived as a solo mum with a sperm donor and IVF. I decided that I may miss out on motherhood if I waited any longer to meet a partner, so at 37 I started my solo mum journey. At 39 I had my daughter Daisy and we live together very happily just the two of us. I have a big extended family made up of family and friends so it never feels like we are just a two!
I work four days a week in a Global HR role, as well as having my own coaching business called The Stork and I.
I coach women considering solo motherhood as well as those looking to live their best life as a single parent. Finding the right balance can be tough. Daisy is in nursery three days a week, with her Granny one day a week, and I have one day off with her as well as the weekend. Most of my coaching is done in the evening after she is asleep. I am comfortable that she sees me working hard on subjects I am hugely passionate about.
When I am with her, I try to be 100% present so she gets my full attention. I also work from home, so that means I get to spend slightly more time with her. It is a constant juggle, but one I feel I have got into a good routine with.
I love to practice yoga and go for runs. I also love to just sit in the sun and read. I do enjoy a night out with friends once in a while too!
I love meeting other people who are in similar situations and really ‘get it.’
And I just love meeting new people. This is such a good way to do that.
Rewarding, exhausting, elation.
Be comfortable in your own skin. Be the best you can be. Own it and rock it, whatever you’re doing.
Focus on you and your child and figure out your own way. Don’t worry what everyone else is doing.
My happy place is in my little back garden, sitting on my bench, watching Daisy play (quite possibly sipping a G&T as the sun goes down!).
I loved Catherine Gray’s The Unexpected Joy of Being Single.
I am about to launch The Stork and I Podcast, which is going to be exploring some of the themes about being single, dating and relationships.
Just because it could have been different, doesn’t mean it would have been better.
Having my daughter as a solo mum is by far my greatest achievement.
I regret that I worried so much what others would think about my choice to be a solo mum.
You can’t rely on others to make you happy. If you aren’t happy with your life, you need to work on how to resolve that yourself. Relying on someone else for your happiness will not have a positive outcome.
My daughter makes me laugh hard every day. She is hilarious. The things she comes out with crack me up!
I cried when I heard that we would be going into lockdown and that I wasn’t going to be able to have my normal single parent support network around me for an untold number of weeks.
Isn’t She Lovely – Stevie Wonder.
Get your support network in place. Look to meet others in similar circumstances – the Frolo app is a great way to do this. Focus on the things within your influence, not the things that are out of your control. If you are overwhelmed right now, please know that it will get better and easier!
That I have bucket-loads of resilience when I need it.
You can follow Mel’s journey on Instagram @the_stork_and_i