Dealing with a break-up or divorce can be one of the most stressful experiences you will ever go through. It can leave you feeling: ashamed, angry, sad, lonely and hurt. Going through those emotions is normal. When we go through a trauma – a relationship breakdown can be hugely traumatic – we need to process a lot, often in a very short space of time.
But you will want to move on and start rebuilding your life. My tips will help you deal with the emotional roller coaster that you are on right now and help you to transform your life after a break-up.
While it may be challenging to practice everyday, it can transform your mindset from one of lack (where you feel that nothing is going right for you) to one of abundance. Spend 5-10 minutes everyday being grateful. When it rains, be grateful for the fact that we have water, be grateful for your fluffy slippers on a cold morning, if your car breaks down be thankful for the breakdown recovery. Trust me, gratitude will change your thinking! I know that this can be hard when you are feeling hurt or angry but practicing gratitude can be a game-changer: it has far reaching effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others.
When you go through a break-up it can feel like your life will never be the same. And in many ways it won’t. But that doesn’t mean you won’t have a great life! Start by imagining your new life. Create a vision board and take some steps towards it. You can create a vision board on Pinterest or the old fashioned way. Cut pictures out of magazines. If you have children, get them involved!
Visualisation helps us move towards our goals. It makes us take action and it’s really powerful.
Did you know that the more you tell yourself something, the more you believe it? That’s why affirmations work.Write a list of five positive statements (affirmations) about yourself and say them everyday. Make them a part of your daily routine by sticking them to the inside of your bathroom cabinet so when you brush your teeth you see them.
Here are some suggestions to get you started: “I am enough”, “I am capable of achieving everything I want in life”, “I am full of joy”
The story about your divorce or break-up can be told in many different ways. Focus on the positive aspects of your story. How strong it’s made you, what an amazing single parent you are, how resilient you are. Give your story a name -something empowering and positive.
Don’t be the victim in your story, be the victor! Remember that you’re in control of your story and you’re the main character. We might not always be the captains of our lives – but we are fully in ownership of the story of our lives.
Become a pro at spotting limiting beliefs (where you think you can’t do something), feelings of overwhelm and fear. Once you become self aware and really understand your mind and all the things it does to stop you moving forward you can start to tackle them before they become an issue.
So many of my clients come to me not knowing why they can’t move forward in their life but once we delve a bit deeper we can see the issues and can put things in place to stop these beliefs and feelings from taking over.
For more information about my work visit my website sampatelcoaching.com or follow me on instagram @sampatelcoaching