When most of us think of self care, we imagine things like spa days, yoga classes, or at the very least a hot bath with candles. Housework is probably the last thing that comes to mind. But what if you could take the everyday chores you already have to do and turn them into moments of care for yourself?

For single parents, time is often the scarcest resource. Between looking after children, working, and managing a household, there may be very little space for long stretches of traditional self care. This is why reframing housework can be such a powerful shift. Instead of waiting for the time you do not have, you can find ways to look after yourself in the things you already do every day.

Why housework can be self care

It might sound like a stretch, but there are good reasons to see housework as a form of self care. Everyday tasks like folding laundry, washing dishes or hoovering provide something psychologists call a cognitive break. These are short periods of time where your brain is engaged in a simple, repetitive task that does not require too much concentration. In these moments your mind is able to rest, process, and reset.

Think about how often you finish loading the dishwasher or hanging up clothes and suddenly find that you have solved a problem you were stuck on, or remembered something important. That is because your brain has had space to wander and process in the background. In many ways, this is as restorative as meditation. For single parents, who rarely have the luxury of 30 minutes of quiet to sit and meditate, housework can fill that gap.

Moving meditation

Housework also gives you the benefit of gentle movement. While it might not be the same as a workout class, vacuuming, tidying or carrying laundry up the stairs all get your body moving and stop you from being sedentary. If you approach these tasks mindfully, they can become a kind of moving meditation.

Instead of rushing through chores with resentment, try slowing down and paying attention to your body as you move. Notice the rhythm of your breathing, the feeling of your feet on the ground, the weight of the clothes or dishes in your hands. This small change in attention can transform something that feels draining into something grounding and even calming.

Acts of kindness for your future self

Another way to reframe housework is to see it as an act of kindness for your future self. When you cook a simple meal rather than ordering takeaway, you are nourishing your body. When you clear the kitchen before bed, you are giving yourself the gift of a calmer start in the morning. When you tidy your child’s room, you are setting up a moment of joy for when they come home and see it.

For single parents who may sometimes feel unsupported, this mindset is especially valuable. You may not have a partner who makes you a cup of tea or tidies the kitchen for you, but you can do those things for yourself. It is a way of saying, “I deserve to live in a space that feels good. I am worthy of care.”

Teaching your children by example

Reframing housework in this way is not only helpful for you, but it also teaches your children valuable lessons. Children learn far more from what we do than from what we say. When they see you treating yourself with care, keeping your space clean and pleasant, and approaching chores with a positive attitude, they pick up on that.

You are showing them that looking after a home is part of looking after yourself. You are modelling the idea that everyone deserves to live in a space that feels safe and cared for. This can shape the way they treat themselves and their future relationships.

Practical ways to make housework feel like self care

If you like the idea but do not know where to start, here are a few simple strategies:

• Add small rituals. Light a candle or put on music you love while you do the washing up. It makes the task feel more special.
• Frame it as meditation. Decide that for the next ten minutes you will simply focus on folding laundry without distractions. No phone, no TV, just the movement.
• Think of it as a gift. Each task is a way of looking after yourself and your family. Imagine you are your own butler, preparing a clean, comfortable home for the person you love most - yourself.
• Celebrate progress. When you finish, take a moment to notice the difference. A tidy space can immediately lift your mood.
• Pair it with gratitude. While cooking or cleaning, try quietly naming things you are grateful for. Gratitude is a proven way to boost wellbeing and pairs well with routine tasks.

Why this matters for single parents

Traditional self care advice often sets single parents up to feel like they are failing. We are told to get up an hour before the kids, journal for twenty minutes, exercise, meditate, and meal prep, all before breakfast. For most of us, this is simply impossible. The result is guilt and the sense that we are not doing enough.

By reframing housework as self care, you are not adding to your to do list. You are transforming what is already on it. You are taking the reality of your life as a single parent and finding ways to make it supportive rather than draining. That is not only practical, it is empowering.

Self care does not have to mean bubble baths or expensive treats. It can be as simple as folding laundry with intention, or cooking a meal with love. The important thing is not what it looks like from the outside, but how it feels for you.

Next time you feel frustrated by the endless cycle of chores, try to see them in a new light. They are not just jobs to get through, but opportunities to pause, reset, and show yourself the care you deserve.

Because you do deserve it.

For more on housework as self care, listen to our August 21st 2025 episode of the Frolo podcast with Francesca Amber. Listen on Spotify or search Frolo wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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