Most people don’t mean any harm when they say it. Comments like “My partner works away a lot, so I’m basically a single parent” or “I’m solo parenting this weekend while my partner’s away” are usually offered casually, sometimes even as a way of building connection or solidarity. They’re often said in moments of genuine exhaustion, when someone is trying to express how stretched they feel.

And yet, for many single parents, those words still land with an unexpected sting.

That’s because single parenting isn’t defined by periods of being alone. It’s defined by being the only adult permanently responsible. There is no handover point at the end of a difficult week, no countdown until help returns, and no quiet reassurance that someone else is there if things unravel. When you are a single parent, you are the safety net, all of the time.

When a temporary situation is compared to that reality, it can feel as though the depth and complexity of single parenting is being unintentionally minimised. This doesn’t mean partnered parents aren’t allowed to struggle. Parenting alone for a weekend can be exhausting, and long stretches without support are genuinely hard. Acknowledging that doesn’t take anything away from single parents.

The discomfort comes from the comparison itself.

Single parenting isn’t simply about doing more practical tasks. It’s about making every decision alone, from the mundane to the life-altering. It’s about being the sole emotional regulator in the household, knowing that every emergency call, every school issue, every financial worry and every moment of uncertainty will come to you. There is no built-in relief and no shared responsibility waiting quietly in the background.

For widowed parents, these comments can reopen layers of grief. Sometimes what hurts most isn’t the statement itself, but the reminder that there isn’t someone coming back. No end date. No shift change. Just an absence that has to be carried alongside everyday parenting. In those moments, even well-meaning comparisons can feel particularly jarring.

Many single parents find themselves swallowing their reaction, unsure whether they’re “allowed” to feel hurt by something that wasn’t meant unkindly. But if you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Why does that bother me so much?” you’re not being oversensitive. You’re responding to a real difference in experience, and to a reality that often goes unseen.

It’s okay to feel tired of explaining that difference. It’s okay to want your experience understood on its own terms, without needing to be softened or translated into something more palatable.

At Frolo, we believe there is real value in naming these moments honestly. When single parents are given space to speak about what hurts and why, without judgement or comparison, something shifts. You’re no longer carrying the emotional load of educating others on top of everything else.

You deserve to have your reality recognised for what it is – not as a phase, a weekend, or a rough patch, but as a full, complex, lived experience.

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