Photo by Khoa Võ
From being clear on your intentions, to creating a genuine profile and moving past your dating fears, Kindling provides practical tips for a more fulfilling and successful online dating journey. Here, Eimear, a Dating Coach at Kindling Dating, gives some top tips for single parents who are ready to start dating.
We’ve all been there, “I’m fine being single, I have a job I love, lots of friends and family to keep me busy. I don’t need a relationship to be happy. Meeting someone would just be the cherry on top.” Sometimes it is easier to tell ourselves that than admit we want to share our life with somebody, especially when we feel completely out of control as to how to make it happen.
Take time to be really honest with yourself. Think about what you don’t like about being single. What would it be like if you never met someone? What do you want from a relationship? What are the feelings that you get when in a relationship that you want?
It takes vulnerability and courage to admit that we are not happy staying single, but it is these exact same qualities that make us truly open to dating.
The story “I’m okay being alone” that we tell to protect ourselves when Uncle Bob and Aunty Fanny ask why we are still single, is also giving out a negative energy, closing us off from finding the partner that we actually want.
Getting clear on your relationship goals is essential to attracting a long-lasting relationship. Are you looking for long-term commitment? Don’t be afraid to say so. If that means the person who is just looking for something casual is “frightened off”, good, they weren’t your person.
Dating has many ups and downs and you can expect to become frustrated and for your motivation to wane. In these moments look back on your reasons for not wanting to be single any more and look to your relationship goal to keep you positive.
Whilst you may feel that finding love is down to fate and the stars aligning, you have more power over attracting love than you know. The most important thing that you have control over is your mindset, so staying positive and believing that you will achieve your relationship goal is more important than anything you can write on your profile.
You may not like the idea of online dating and dating apps. Perhaps you’ve tried them before and think they don’t work for you. Maybe you find the idea of swiping through profiles intimidating or just tedious, and the admin of initial message conversations to arrange dates can certainly be laborious!
It seems that everyone hates the apps until they find their person on a dating app! They do work, but you have got to believe that they will work and keep your relationship goal in your sight.
Online dating apps open up connections to people that you may never have met in real life. They also mean that you can pick an app that aligns with your life stage and values so you are matching with like minded people.
Keeping an open mind and positive mindset can create a loving vibe, which is always attractive.
Your profile is your chance to make a first impression on potential matches. Make sure you show your true self; you are amazing and the person for you, will see that. If they don’t then they are not your person.
Start with pictures that show you in your best light, but avoid filters. Aim for at least one close-up shot that showcases your face without sunglasses (this should be your first picture), as well as full-body shots that highlight your interests and personality.
When writing your profile, it’s important to be authentic and genuine. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, or write what you think others want to read. Avoid writing a list of what you don’t want in a partner, or showcasing your life accomplishments like a checklist.
Instead focus on what you have to offer as a partner. Share your passions, hobbies and shared values and interests that you hope to find in a partner. You don’t want your profile to be appealing to everyone, it should do the opposite and let the people who you are genuinely going to click with, see the real you.
By focusing on these elements, you increase the chances of finding a meaningful connection with someone who shares your interests and values.
No you don’t need to lose weight, or get more buff, get a new outfit or do a professional photoshoot before setting up your profile. These are all excuses to keep us stuck in our comfort zone, even though we know it isn’t making us happy. It’s a subconscious defence mechanism to avoid the discomfort of the rejection that we may face when dating. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, so push past this negative chat in your mind and get started today.
In dating it’s easy to fall into thinking that it is all about you attracting someone, you finding someone that is going to like you. However it is as much about you enabling someone to find you. You have so much to offer a partner, why make it difficult for them to find you?!
Want to read more of Kindling Datings dating advice & tips? Head to kindlingdating.com/services